Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Baptist Cowgirl

Baptist Cowgirl!!

A cowgirl, who is visiting Texas from Arkansas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.

She sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When she finishes them, she comes back to the bar and orders three more.






The bartender approaches and tells the cowgirl, 'You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste better if you bought one at a time.'






The cowgirl replies, 'Well, you see, I have two sisters. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin.






When we all left our home in Arkansas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my sisters and one for myself.'

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.






The cowgirl becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way..






She orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, she comes in and only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When she comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,

'I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss.'






The cowgirl looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in her eyes and she laughs.

'Oh, no, everybody's just fine,' she explains,' It's just that my husband and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking.






'Hasn't affected my sisters though!'

Monday, September 15, 2008

This is a test given to all people who want to be pilots

TAKE IT IF YOU DARE....

I failed miserably.

See if you still have what it takes to be a pilot..

Can you focus on the parrot for 10 seconds?


Nah! I didn't think so.



Disney fans






No explanation
needed here....
that's using
real assets to
show off mickey
and minnie

Japanese technology

Here's how some of the old dot matrix technology works...

Click on this link, then start clicking in the open space to be amazed...

http://www.telltale.jp/fukudaya/creatures/



Resimay

Deer Sir,

I waunt to apply for the secritary job what I saw in the paper. I can Type real quik wit one finggar and do sum a counting.

I think I am good on the phone and no I am a pepole person, Pepole really seam to respond to me well.

Im lookin for a Jobb as a secritary but it musent be to complicaited

I no my spelling is not to good but find that I Offen can get a job thru my persinalety. My salerery is open so we can discus wat you want to pay me and wat you think that I am werth,

I can start imeditely. Thank you in advanse fore yore anser.

hopifuly Yore best aplicant so farr.


Sinseerly,

Peggy May Starlings


PS : Because my resimay is a bit short - below is a pickture of me.

.
.
.







Employer's response:......


Dear Peggy May,

It's OK honey, we've got spell check


Perfection

Here's a link to a story about a perfect man and woman....

http://www.flashfunpages.com/couple.swf

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

How beer works

How Beer works!

Colonoscopy

Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments
during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was
performing their colonoscopies:


1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!




2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"




3. "Can you hear me NOW?"







4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"




5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."




6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"




7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."




8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"




9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!




10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."




11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"




12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."




And the best one of all..




13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Funny stuff from emails